The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize