went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
