whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
