Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
they're like a gay fantastic four
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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