So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I supernannyed him into submission
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
