I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
