they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
