what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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