I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
