So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
