Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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