do herpes really smell.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
