So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
