I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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