I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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