My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
