She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
