let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
