Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
