I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
