I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
