i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
