Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I deserve this hangover.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
