i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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