who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i drank out of a bidet.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
