My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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