insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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