Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
