Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
soo... how was my night?
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