Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
