May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
