as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
