as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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