does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
