I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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