I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize