I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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