The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
