do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
