why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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