yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
