3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
