Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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