Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
