It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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