I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
