Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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