You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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