i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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