Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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