Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
