eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
