Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
