omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
