There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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