wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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