Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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