I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
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