I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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