i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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