I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
