I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
